


if they be worthy

by theappleppielifestyle



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, coulson can totally pick it up okay, mjolonir, the avengers are worthy as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-13 00:13:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's staring, and Tony isn't awake enough to do anything but gape dumbly at the hammer in his hand.</p><p>"Huh," he says.</p><p>"Seconded," Steve says through his toast. "Tasha, go tell Coulson another one of us can pick it up."</p>
            </blockquote>





	if they be worthy

The morning after a particularly epic birthday party for Thor, Tony stumbles into the kitchen and immediately makes a beeline for the coffee machine.

Natasha, Steve and Bruce grunt, 'good morning,' and Tony manages the coherency to say it back, before jerking around to look for his mug.

It's on the table, half-blocked by Mjolonir, and Tony reaches to move it without thinking. He's halfway through putting it on the bench when he realizes _holy fuck_ , and stops.

Everyone's staring, and Tony isn't awake enough to do anything but gape dumbly at the hammer in his hand.

"Huh," he says.

"Seconded," Steve says through his toast. "Tasha, go tell Coulson another one of us can pick it up."

Natasha gives him the side-eye, pointedly not getting up. "It's getting kind of old news by now, Cap. Soon, everyone and their mother will be able to lift it."

"You're just saying that because you don't want to move."

"That may be a significant variable, yes."

Tony flips Mjolonir from one hand to the other. "Huh. It's actually kind of light. I could totally use this as a paperweight. We could prop the door open when it's hot."

Bruce gives him a look from the other side of the table, and Tony shrugs. "What? We've blatantly misused other infinitely powerful objects. Remember that one time we used that doomsday device as a letter-opener?"

"And nearly ended the world in the process," Steve reminds him, absentmindedly kissing Tony's shoulder as he passes him to wash his plate. "We remember, Tony. Put Mjolonir down."

"I  _will_ ," Tony says, too loud for this early and hungover in the morning. "And then I'll pick it the fuck back up. Because I fucking  _can_. Fuck yes."

"Congratulations," Natasha says dryly. "That leaves Bruce, and he hasn't even tried yet."

"I don't plan to," Bruce says. "I'm fine wallowing in my not-worthy-ness at this point."

"Again," Natasha says, stabbing him with the blunt side of her fork. "Stressing on the ' _you haven't tried yet_ ' part.

Bruce mumbles something into his oatmeal before taking a bite, and Tony smirks.

"Come on, Brucie! It's not even haaaard. Lookie, I can juggle with it!"

"Don't," Steve warns, and Tony sighs, but stills it in his hands.

Bruce scrapes his spoon around the bowl. "I'd rather not know if I can... pick it up or not. Come on, Tony, you didn't want to know, either."

"Point proven. Now we just have to wait until you're groggy enough to try to move the unmoveable god's hammer. Awesome. I love Coulson for starting this."

"He didn't  _start_  this-"

"He picked it up first, you should've seen Fury's face-"

Steve cuts Tony off by taking Mjolonir out of his hands and propping it up on the leg of the kitchen table. "Bruce, we all think you can pick it up, no problem."

"Mmm," Bruce says unconvincingly. "I'd just- rather not, okay?"

Steve nods. "Sure."

He nudges a mug of coffee into Tony's hand, and the grin he gets back is blinding. He leans in, tucks his head into his shoulder. 

"You're awfully happy this morning. Wonder why." 

"I get to use Thor's magic fucking hammer as a paperweight," Tony says into his hair, and Steve can hear the smile in his voice.

"Don't know why you'd want to," Steve says, "But yes, you can. Though we all knew you'd be able to for a while now."

"That's because you're all a bunch of faithful morons."

Steve presses a kiss into Tony's collar. "You're worthy, and us faithful morons figured it out when you didn't. Just like you know Bruce will be able to pick it up when he needs to."

"Knowing our luck, it'll probably be when someone else is trapped underneath it. Fuck, will Hulk be able to lift it?"

"Probably."

"Fuck," Tony says again, and Steve represses the urge to tell him to tone down on the language, again. 

A pause, and then: "Where the hell  _is_  Thor?" 

Steve leans back, kisses him quickly and reaches for a scrubbing brush. "In a tree with Clint, the last time I saw him. It seemed like a great idea at the time. Darcy's somewhere around here, I think."

"Huh," Tony says again, and Steve knows he's not going to stop smiling for the next few hours, at least.

And because they're morons and Steve  _can_ , he kisses him again, ignoring the retching sound behind him that lets him know where Darcy got to. 

"You're worthy," he says into Tony's mouth. "Okay? You're worth it."

"Okay," Tony says, and he's still grinning that loose, stupid grin that Steve can't get tired of seeing. "But I'm still using it as a paperweight, and you can't stop me. I'm going to hold so many papers down."

"You're going to break everything in a six meter radius, Tony."

"But with  _style_."

Steve laughs, and runs his thumb over the smile-lines around Tony's eyes.


End file.
